About Johnny B. Branded :verified:

I celebrate branding! Cover the Earth in logos! Fill the air with jingles! Tattoo your body with your favorite corporate mascots! Consume! Consume! Consume! Yes, I will sign up for your newsletter! Yes, you may contact me with exclusive offers! I will supersize it! Put your name on my shirt! Why are there no ads on the side of every car? I only piss in urinals with ads at eye level! I consent to your data mining! I dream of your brand! Please copyright my favorite childhood stories! Consume!

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